Photo by Camylla Battani on Unsplash
By Federica Lupis, https://www.federicalupis.com/
Author of "Fluent On The First Try" and "Why You're Not Fluent and How To Fix It"
Language trainer, interpreter and translator.
After Christmas, I sat down with my partner Ash and said: “We need to talk”. His face turned pale as if I were about to drop a bombshell: “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t realize what I had just said. “I mean… I need to talk. To someone. I feel like a scam”.
His facial expression immediately relaxed: “You? A scam? Why?”, he laughed.
“I haven’t worked on my new book for a month. Not even once. I go around telling people what they should do to learn a language but then I can’t apply my own advice to my life”.
With his usual calm and kindness, Ash immediately made me feel better: “You know… it takes a little bit more to be a scam… You just had a very busy month. S***T happens… Instead of feeling sad because you couldn’t stick to your plan, why don’t you share your experience on your blog? I’m sure it will help your readers”.
So be it, thanks Ash! This month, I’ll talk about the steps we can take when we are unable to stick to a language learning plan.
Enjoy!
1. Talk to someone
As we get older, we tend to keep things to ourselves because we don’t want to be a burden to other people.
In my case, I considered my “problem” so silly that it wasn’t worth discussing with my friends or partner.
The reality is that sometimes we need to talk to someone, no matter how irrelevant the issue seems to be.
If you can’t dedicate much time to a foreign language and feel bad about it, ring a friend, talk to a fellow student, or give your teacher a call (you have my number, my dear students!) You’ll soon realise that your problem is not as silly as you thought.
We all go through phases where we feel overwhelmed. Talking about it will help you feel better and find a solution.
2. Be proactive
Whether it’s learning a language or clearing out a garage that has been collecting knick knacks since 1995, there’s only one thing that will make us feel better about not being able to stick to our plan and that is, doing something about it.
If you haven’t practiced a foreign language as much as you would have liked, sit down and do something as soon as you think about it. I mean it! Google an article, watch a YouTube video or open Duolingo and use the foreign language.
It will be like giving a lollipop to a child. You will immediately feel better and realize that you don’t need to sit at your desk to improve your skills. You can do it in small doses, whenever it comes to your mind.
3. Give yourself a break
I once heard a line in a movie that went something like this: “What do you think a husband does when his wife praises him for the things he does around the house? He does more!”
I wish I could remember this every time I beat myself up for not doing “what I think I am supposed to do”.
If we can’t stick to our language learning plan and start pointing out everything that is wrong with what we are doing, we’re going to do less and less.
Who wants to learn a language when their inner voice is constantly slamming them for not being ‘perfect’?!
It’s time we give ourselves a break and start looking at what we are doing right.
In the same way that we encourage other people when they’re not happy with themselves, we should be kind and understanding to ourselves.
If we read a book in the foreign language for five minutes but then fall prey to The Witcher on Netflix, let’s focus on the fact that we did something. Let’s not blame ourselves or Henry Cavill for our supposed failure. Let’s celebrate our achievements and bring about more!
~ ~ ~
To sum up, when you can’t dedicate a lot of time to a language:
1. Talk to someone. It will make you feel better and may help you find a solution to your problem.
2. Stop thinking about it and do something already. Action is the best medicine.
3. Encourage and praise yourself as you would do with anyone else. Beating yourself up is never a good strategy.
Thanks for reading! I’ll catch you all next month!
If you enjoyed my article, you can discover my tried and tested language learning strategies in my books:
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